Slow and Soft as a Revolutionary Way of Being
Etherial Soft evie-s Unsplash
Is it Possible to Slow Down & Create a Greater Sense of Wellbeing aligned with the Natural Rhythms of Life?
In a fast world, slow gets a bad rap. Hard is just the way it is. Soft is seemingly not highly recognized or valued. Quiet, gentle, spaciousness is often hard to create in our multifaceted lives, especially for those for whom life or trauma keeps them in a state of survival. Tenderness, kindness, presence with ourselves and each other get’s missed along the way. Although essential to our wellbeing, slow, soft and spacious is more often squeezed out of time than embraced as a norm of modern-day life.
Is it possible to walk in leisurely spaciousness and peaceful beauty as the central core of our lives? Could this breathe life into our lives through the smallest details and moments of daily life? What might this look like for you? What are the natural rhythms of life? Where would you start with adding a touch or a touch more in your own life? in your relationship with yourself, your loved ones and people you work with or pass on the street? with those who are suffering? What might life and love in our lives be like if you did? What might our world be like?
“There is a presence , a silence, a stillness which is here by itself.”
Colorful spring flowers in grass and sunlight. Photo by Dawn Vogel
There are existing places we may go to slow down, the yoga studio, meditation practice, a momentary deep breath, breath or mindfulness practice. Our elderly, those who are ill necessarily at times, our babies and very young children before they enter the often-frenzied structured life awaiting them all typically move more slowly. But, frankly, the system is not rigged in our favor.
I get it and face it myself. Our current civilization does not encourage soft and slow spaciousness, nor is it designed (yet) to sustain it. But, life is. Life as it is actually is unhurried by nature. I admit that life also hosts mighty natural cycles of Creation that birth, die and are rapid torrential forces. I would argue that even still, softening and flowing with both the calm waters and the rapids with deep presence versus tightened panic to what is needed in the moment will more likely ensure our survival. Life is waiting patiently for us to flow with it, whatever state it offers.
Facing the Reality of Time Constraints in our Modern Day Lives
The needs and expectations of work, home, education, marriage, dating, parenting, technology, societal norms, transportation, after school activities, social media, finances, living in survival mode and poverty, trauma, fighting for justice, being of service and more all pose very real obstacles to going with a natural, softer flow of life. It also requires a certain surrender into faith and trusting the unknown, which stretches us outside our comfort zone, which often meets our resistance to change. Instead we often swim upstream as a way of being and force our will rather than allowing the river to gently guide us to where we are meant to be in a manner and pace that just is. Swimming upstream is not only more work, it means battling a current that is not flowing in the direction of our highest unfolding individually or collectively.
Yes, corporations are talking about Employee Wellbeing and implementing programs about work life balance. Healthcare systems are adding self-care programs to their benefits plans, fliers, and more. I’m less familiar with what’s happening in the education system, but I have heard talk of meditation classes for children, perhaps even teachers. My perception however is it not yet enough to shift it into a way of being. Yet, I acknowledge the evolutionary steps forward.
Acknowledging Systemic Chaos and Imbalances
All sectors of society face their systemic challenges. For example, those in Education who play such an important role in shaping future generations are sorely stressed for many individual and systemic reasons. This includes teachers being tragically undervalued in our current society and our children being over stressed worrying about violence and bullying and more when instead they should be 100 % shielded from it all. Religion which could be and may be a place of solace, developing faith and community can also be a place of creating further division and disintegration of a healthy, balanced social ecosystem.
Our transportation systems, roadways, airports, trains, buses and more are also systemically not designed for peace, ease and flow or social connectedness. Housing inequities, economic and systemic injustices and disparities and intricately woven into the very fabric of everything needed to live life as a human in this era.
Rather than bowing to our interconnectedness with the earth, the cosmos and each other, it seems more people than not are disconnected, in survival or unconsciously creating destruction.
Simple and complex trauma, lack of self-awareness, lack of access to self-awareness, lack emotional intelligence, and lack of interpersonal / intercultural skills create further barriers to flowing with life.
The current chaos in our country and world can be frightening and does not inspire us to move slow and soft but rather fast and hard to survive, tune out the news, navigate or fight the growing ugliness that is being unveiled as creepy crawlies squiggle to get back under the rock. But it’s too late, the rock has been turned over. I get it. Soft and slow go with the flow, who has time for that?
Acknowledging the Risks of Not Slowing Down and Benefits of Doing So
Who does not have time for that? If we do not at least take baby steps in the direction of tender, spacious, gentle, rest, pause, outbreath, we will once again crumble. Our bodies will grow sicker. Our mental wellbeing will stay in trauma states, our nervous system remain in fight/flight, freeze or fawn. All of this will cause imbalances to our individual and collective being. Misunderstandings will remain more likely, conflicts and power struggles more commonplace. We will miss the very intimacy we crave in our relationships. Against our higher nature, inequities and human violations will continue. We will continue to pass on these life debilitating energetics and ways of being to our children.
We will also likely miss the innovative solutions that lie in the quiet space in between. By slowing down enough to listen, we may hear the gentle whisper to something better and if we miss it, grace will continue to offer it again increasingly louder to lovingly guide us individually and collectively to higher ground, a higher ground that we as a humanity desperately need.
“All creativity comes from inner spaciousness”
Flowing water Chris J. Unsplash
Take One Baby Step to Move with the Flow of Life
One Baby Step. That’s a place to start.
One place we all have easy access too is our breath. Is it on your radar to check that you are breathing and / or the state of your breathing? Perhaps that is a very first step to create more space is to start noticing your breathing. Yes, our breath happens without our necessary participation. With awareness we have more conscious choice to direct it for our benefit. Do you catch yourself not breathing, Is it shallow, deep, controlled? When stressed can you intentionally breath in and out a little more intentionally with a little longer exhale? Do you have interest or willingness to explore one simple breath practice you can add to your stress management toolkit and draw upon in any moment of any day to add a little more spaciousness to your current experience?
Another tool we all have access to is to close our eyes in any given moment (of course with discernment if it is safe to do so). This brings us to immediate access to lessen the outer stimulation and if so desired, to do a quick or longer internal scan of your current state of being. What is the state of your breath? Your body? Your mind? Your heart? Ask yourself who is doing the noticing. If you don’t have time for all that, simply minimizing outer stimulation is creating a little more space. This opens the door to get to know the different aspects of your own being and all the ways you sense life inside and outside of your body.
Some More Ideas to Consider
I know, you very likely have very real constraints, so do I. I’m also confident there is at least one step you can take. If not breathing, perhaps it is taking that yoga class, or getting up 15 minutes earlier to meditate or sit in quiet, go for that walk, commit to 5 minutes of mindful attention to a daily task. Can you add more quiet into your day? Maybe you don’t turn that radio or tv on. Schedule quiet time into your week. Practice being in silence if you don’t already. Buy flowers, light candles, create time for stillness and beauty to listen to what you’re called to in the moment and what your very next step is.
Little by little consider expanding that space. Perhaps it’s saying more no’s to social commitments, or picking up dinner instead of scrambling to make it. Perhaps it’s focused time for you no matter how many obligations to others you may have. Consider journaling about things you notice or that pop into your awareness as you incrementally add a little more, then a little more slow and soft space into your life. Notice how it begins to enter your relationships, how you feel about yourself, your life, the people in your life, your work, your purpose, the direction you are headed. Take note of how your body feels. Find an accountability partner to in parallel add more quiet and stillness into your lives.
Resourcing with the Elements - Earth, Air Water, Fire
Green Hills, Quingbao Unsplash; Soft grasses, Iva-rajovic Unsplash; Fire and Water Photos by Dawn Vogel
Intentionally Connecting with the Natural Elements of Life to Create Something More Spacious, Beautiful and Good in Your Life
As you are ready, add a little more awareness of the air you breathe, the water you drink, bathe in, sit by; the fire that starts your meal preparation or calms your home with a candle, or warms you at night; the earth you walk upon, the trees and wind that give you oxygen to breathe; the sounds of life and creation all around you. This will continue to prop open the door a deeper relationship with life itself. As you pause more, breathe a little more deeply, add a little more quiet in your step, space in your daily moments, further openings to something even more spacious, beautiful and good are waiting on the other side.
“The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.”
Little by Little
It’s true, you do not need to see the whole stairway, just take the first step, then the next, then the next. One by one as more of us add a little more soft and slow into our lives, it will build a momentum of one drop, becoming two, becoming a river, becoming an ocean and eventually spilling into our societal structures as a revolutionary force that will create more slow and soft systems that nourish us as whole beings versus stressing us from every direction.
Maybe you are fortunate to be leading the pack on this. If so, continue forward, do what you can to grow your trust in you and your deeper knowing that all is well, even if you don’t make it through your to do list. And even more radical, especially if you don’t. A whole new world awaits you and awaits us all as we learn to walk in beauty and create more spaciousness in our lives in greater harmony with the natural rhythms of life.
Some Simple Breath Practices to Begin or Continue your Journey
Belly Breathing (Diaphragmatic Breathing):
Find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down.
Place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly.
Inhale slowly through your nose, allowing your belly to rise while keeping your chest relatively still.
Exhale slowly through your mouth, feeling your belly fall.
Repeat this for 5 minutes, focusing on the rise and fall of your belly.
Box Breathing:
Find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down.
Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four.
Hold your breath for a count of four.
Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of four.
Hold your breath for a count of four.
Repeat this cycle for 5 minutes.
Alternate Nostril Breathing:
Find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down.
Close your right nostril with your thumb and inhale deeply through your left nostril.
Close your left nostril with your ring finger and release your thumb, exhaling through your right nostril.
Inhale through your right nostril.
Close your right nostril with your thumb and exhale through your left nostril.
Repeat this cycle for 5 minutes, alternating nostrils for each inhale and exhale.
